I just keep wondering

I just dont know what to do with my life right now. I get boring so easily. Everytime I got tired and seems everything is make me weak. I didnt understand with people nowadays. What actually they're want me to be? When I found someone new in my life. They're put fucking blame on me, They said I have forgetting the old one. Firstly, they're treat me like a shit. I always say 'I'M SORRYYYYY!!!' and crying all night long. But they're keep always with their attitude. So, week by week. They're just treat macam biasa. So, I alwayssssssssssssssssssss push new person in my life away. But, I see. They're find new person in their life. They're never think my heart. They're never cut of me like I did before. Why? They're never say 'I MISS YOU & I'M SORRY TO ME'. They're straight forgetting me at alls. I just keeping stalked on them. But, hmm. Not a chance to be like before. I know, who am I in their heart. I should walk slowly at their heart.


But you must know somethings, I feel so lonely without you. Everything makes me think of you. I do not know how to say, Everytime I said "I miss you" it is seems so waste to me. The way the wind whispers your name and the way the air is so calm like you are. It all makes me think of you. I feel so sad without your songs. You sing so softy and I'll always remember. The way you made me happy. When i was sad. So please come back. I really miss you so. And I miss where we're used to be before. I miss the old us. I miss you :'(

Life after Three of ours Heroes RIP..

Well guys, as we known we're got news sooooooo... hm let me skip this things. 06JUNE2012 no ones of us will never forgetting this. The last time after that exsident..

Muhammad Shukor Aman Bin RashirulNizam...

Me, my friends and teachers goooo to hospital asaply! When me and Ain enter to wad Aman. I see Aman dying... I still can hear his beat of heart with that mechine.. I still see his blood from ears. I see his tears. Everybody is crying on that time. I just cant explain. Aman dikebumikan sewaktu maghrib. I thought I will see his last face but, I am late. Aman, when I with you, I am never talk to much right? I am sorry if I talk to much with you when you cant even say nothing.

Muhammad Hafizz Naim Bin Termizi

His family bring Hafiz directly go to Kedah. When my brother having their marrige at Kedah. Me, Buyot, Yusz, Diba and Intan got the chance to melawat makam Hafizz. Well brooooo, we've talk heart to heart right? I see Yusz crying.. Sorry didnt bring Farah too. One fine day, I'll bring her. I promisse you so many thing to keep and take a good cares of Farah right? I will broo. I will.

I just know both of this guys. Ewan, I just know him after this all happend. Ewan and Aman dikebumikan di tempat yang sama. Just Naim that to far from us. I understand it was destiny but y'alls were so sweet and kind. I know you're in a better place but yet my heart keeps crying. Y'all  were so sweet and innocent at time and inside my body is dying but I know I'll have to move on. Because it is what you would want, you would want me not to cry but to be happy and live a wonderful life and I'll always remember that place where you lay and hopefully I'll see you on my very special day

Family comes first

Part 1.

Yes, I admit it. I comes from broken family. But, thankful to Allah.I never think to do somethings bad about my selve. Theres has been years. I stay with my mum but sometimes my father's back home. Finally they're getting better. So, since I was standard 6. I never share story about my family to other, I just said that they're divored when I was F2 kut. Ahh, I didnt remember. but sure things. I miss my old family. I got problems with my friends nor school stuff. I never telling to them. Since I was standard 1, I never kiss my mom and my father. Did I am bad daughter? I being like this just because of them. I lost my respect to them but actually I love them liked no one could. I really miss my old family, with two my brothers and one sister's. But they're changed. I dont know why this need happen.